hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
