Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
