think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
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