You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
