just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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