I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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