I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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