Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
