would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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