you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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