All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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