Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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