Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
