he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
