what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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