how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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