hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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