And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
