if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
