I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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