Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
