You really coming over, don't trick.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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