I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
