Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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