Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
