Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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