I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
