You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
