Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
