i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
