We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
