This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize