we're blogging at a bar
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
