My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
