She said her name was "party"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
