Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
