the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
