I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
