alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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