You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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