don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
