i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
