My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize