What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize