But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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