He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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