Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize