I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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