Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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