I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
