I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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