I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want a musical about memes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
