dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize