did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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