Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
