Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
