She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
