Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
