I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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