Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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